This ought to make us all feel better about our computer skills!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
============== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
I've seen this before but I want to slack off right now and post this.
CELEBRITIES WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG
Angelina Jolie
Bjork
Britney Spears
Bruce Willis
Cher
Christina Aguilera
Courtney Love
Demi Moore
Drew Barrymore
Elton John
George Clooney
Eminem
Halle Berry
Helen Hunt
Janet Jackson
Jean Claude van Damme
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Lopez
Jimi Hendrix
Julia Roberts
Keanu Reeves
Leonardo Di Caprio
Madonna
Mariah Carey
Marilyn Manson
Meg Ryan
Michael Jackson
Michael Jordan
Mick Jagger
Nicole Kidman
Pamela Anderson
Patrick Swayze
Paul Mccartney
Ricky Martin
Ringo Starr
Robert De Niro
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Tina Turner
Tom Cruise
Tom Hanks
Subject: White Rabbit
Nagkaroon ng competition ang agencies ng USA para malaman kung sino sa mga
agencies ang magaling mag execute ng manhunt. Ang mga participants ay:
NYPD = New York Police Department, USA
FBI = Federal Bureau of Investigation, USA
CIA = Central Intelligence Agency, USA
PNP = Philippine National Police, Phil (Special International Guest
Participant)
Isang puting rabbit ang pinakawalan sa isang gubat. Each agency was given
three (3) months to find the rabbit.
Unang grupong contestant, NYPD.
Pumasok sa gubat ang kanilang search and rescue squad, S.W.A.T., at
pinalibutan ng mga police ang buong gubat. Ipinasok rin nila sa gubat ang
kanilang detectives, at experts sa paghahanap ng nawawala.
After 3 months, lumabas ang NYPD sa gubat.
Nag release sila ng press statement, "After 3 months of intensive search for
the white rabbit, we regret to inform you that because the rabbit has a head
start, it was able to elude our units, and was able to pass through our
dragnet. The rabbit has escaped."
Next ang FBI.
Pumasok rin sa gubat mga FBI, dala dala ang mga helicopters, mga sniffing
dogs, at sari saring experts para hanapin ang rabbit.
After 3 months, lumabas ang FBI sa gubat.
Nag release rin sila ng press statement, "After 3 months of finding the
white rabbit, we had some interesting leads. However, as we are closing in
on its location, somebody must have tipped it off, and it was able to elude
us by disguising as a deer. The rabbit has escaped."
Next ang CIA.
Pumasok ang CIA, at dahil meron silang special powers to request assistance
from the US Military, dinala na rin nila ang US Army para tulungan sila sa
paghanap.
After 3 months of firefight, bombing, and special operations, lumabas ang
CIA sa gubat.
Sabi nila sa press statement, "We used everything at our disposal. We didn't
leave any stone unturned. We bombed everything in sight. I'm sure you will
not find any rabbit there anymore. He's probably scattered all around the
forest in tiny little pieces!"
Last, but not least, the PNP.
Napatawa ang ibang agencies dahil ang pumasok lang sa gubat na PNP ay lima
lang.
Pero laking gulat na lang nila dahil next day mismo, lumabas ang PNP, dala
dala ay isang grizzly bear, na naka posas, bugbog sarado ang mukha, halos
sarado ang isang mata dahil sa bugbog, duguan at sumisigaw, "OO NA! OO NA!!!
AKO ANG WHITE RABBIT!!! AKO ANG WHITE RABBIT!!!"
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